When Fashion Becomes a Trigger

Two things took place that inspired me to write this blog. The first was a customer of ours' comment on her frustration with her body, and the other was an employee crying over how she looked in one of our videos. She was seriously in tears, and I was heartbroken to hear her so upset.

This blog will be about vulnerabilities and getting honest with you, my customers, and my clients. To be honest, I’m a bit terrified, but I think it’s time. For someone who talks about being genuine and authentic, I believe it’s time to talk about two things: body image and personal style expectations.

Last week, a customer came in to buy items for her new wardrobe. She desperately needed new jeans because her old ones no longer fit. This is very common; we all fluctuate, and sometimes, we need to either size up or down. No one is alone in this. We found several new options, but I could tell she was pretty frustrated with her size and the number on the labels during the try-on process. She kept obsessing over “the size” of the pants. I tried to encourage her to focus on the fit and style of the jeans regardless of the “number on the label.” After finding a few options she was happy with, she told me, “What’s your secret? How do you stay so thin? I am jealous of you”. Without even thinking, I blurted out, “Oh, I’m usually not this thin; I am in ED recovery. There it is, I said it. I could feel myself cringe inside as I knew she was a bit confused by my answer, so I had to explain to her I’ve been struggling with an Eating Disorder for a couple of years now. Her kind response gave me some comfort, but honestly, I was embarrassed and ashamed. 

I went home that evening feeling defeated. As a boutique owner and having worked with women in fashion for years, I have noticed that the topic of body image and body dysmorphia usually comes up several times a week. I constantly hear women complain about their bodies and allow their inner demons to hold them back from expressing themselves through fashion. I am here to tell you 

I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND. I AM HERE FOR YOU.

For many people, the relationship with fashion is complicated by difficult feelings about their bodies. While body positivity and self-love are incredible goals, the journey there isn't always straightforward—especially for those dealing with negative body image or body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). I want this blog to help you explore how to approach fashion and self-expression when the mirror feels like an enemy rather than a friend.

When Fashion Becomes a Trigger

For those with body image issues, fashion experiences can become minefields:

• Shopping may trigger comparison, anxiety, and self-criticism

• Getting dressed might involve hours of trying on outfits and still feeling dissatisfied

• Mirrors and photographs can become objects of obsession or avoidance

• Social events may be declined due to appearance-related anxiety

• Certain body parts might be consistently hidden regardless of weather or occasion

It's important to acknowledge these challenges without judgment. If this describes your experience, you're not alone, and your feelings are valid.

Compassionate Approaches to Fashion

When body image is a struggle, here are some approaches that may help:

1. Focus on function and comfort first

Choose clothes that allow your body to move freely and comfortably. Ask yourself: "Can I breathe easily? Can I sit comfortably? Can I move without restriction?" When we're physically comfortable, emotional comfort often follows.

2. Develop a personal uniform

Having go-to outfits you know work for you can reduce the daily stress of getting dressed. This might be variations on a theme—like different colored tops with the same cut of pants—that you know feel acceptable to you.

3. Mindfully curate your media consumption

Fashion and beauty content can sometimes worsen body image issues. Consider unfollowing accounts that make you feel inadequate and seeking out diverse representations that normalize different body types.

4. Practice neutral body awareness

Rather than forcing positive thoughts that might not feel authentic, try neutral observations: "This is my arm. It helps me hug people I love." Acknowledging your body's functionality can be a bridge toward acceptance.

 5. Separate identity from appearance

Remind yourself that your worth is not determined by how you look. Your contributions, values, relationships, and character define you far more than your appearance ever could.

 When Shopping Is Difficult

If shopping triggers negative emotions, consider these strategies:

• Ask to schedule a personal styling appointment with JoJo. I am here to help!

• Bring a supportive friend who can provide perspective when trying on clothes

• Focus on individual garments rather than sizing—many brands size differently

Small Steps Toward Healing

Healing your relationship with your body and with fashion is rarely linear. Some days will be more complicated than others, and that's okay. Consider these small practices:

• Express gratitude for what your body does for you

• Notice when clothes feel good rather than just how they look

• Observe negative thoughts without attaching to them

• Challenge appearance-related "rules" you've internalized

• Celebrate small victories, like wearing something that once felt uncomfortable

 Moving Forward with Compassion

Whether you're dealing with occasional insecurity or clinical body dysmorphia, approaching fashion with self-compassion is essential. You deserve to dress the body you have now with kindness, regardless of how you feel about it.

At its best, fashion should be a form of self-care and self-expression, not self-punishment. By taking small steps toward a more compassionate relationship with your reflection, you can begin to reclaim the joy and creativity that fashion can offer—even on days when loving your body feels impossible.

Here at JoJo + CoCo-, we hear you, understand you, and are here to help.